Howdy, Two Things readers! It’s been a crazy couple of years. I didn’t write, I didn’t call but mostly I didn’t write – let’s get back to this blog for goodness sake. We’re going to get the Two Things flywheel turning and try some new stuff (stay tuned!). Hope you enjoy and thanks always for your friendship.
One of my first posts (below) was a cliff notes primer to a book called “Love and Death” and an ode to the author, my hero, the late Forrest Church. Sadly, Death has been our uninvited companion over the last couple years (the inimitable, friendship-savant Betty Cooney and the witty, ice cream-loving Ed Cooney – my mom and dad) and then this summer/fall we lost two wunderkinds…accomplished friends in the prime of their lives…moms at the center of family universes.
The memorial services were beautiful, chock full of love, music and remembrance. Each story poured tenderly into already full hearts. As we listened, we were focused on them AND we asked ourselves questions. Am I kind enough? Am I adventurous enough? Am I making the days count? Egocentric or human, you decide but just keeping it real.
We miss them. We want them back. We love them. We hurt for their kids and spouses, sisters and brothers and their parents. We thank them for making us laugh and think and grow and now we thank them for inspiring to us to “Give more love away”.
Love and Death Part 1
A Person: The late Forrest Church, Unitarian minister, author of “Love and Death.”
An Idea: Death is hard and unwelcome and yet it is the piper that will be paid by each of us. At the same time, the “impermanence and fragility” of life is what makes it such a wondrous gift. Sooo… why can’t we talk about it? Forrest Church tells us in his beautiful final sermon of a book that “The only taboo left, the only subject almost no one dares to talk about in polite company, is not politics or sex or religion but death.”
Taboo or not, the bell tolls crisply into the big chill for people we love — family, parents of friends, our parents’ friends, friends and even, most tragically, children of friends. So how can we make the high price of our life worth it? How can we live a life worthy of our death? Forrest Church tells us that a life can only be measured by how much love you give away. By how much love we give away. Yes! Not only do I buy it, I want to give Church a Big Papi hug for the simplicity and clarity that this yardstick offers.
The rest of Church’s mantra:
Want What You Have: Don’t focus on the sleep that you missed when the human puppy of a three-year-old comes into to your 3:00am bed and nuzzles into your armpit (and simultaneously kicks you in the ribs). Just listen to every sweet breath and let your gratitude wash over you. And when the real rain in your life comes, don’t let it crowd out all that is still good.
Do What You Can: Not climb every mountain, but first, climb ONE mountain. Be ambitious but focus on the attainable. Do what you can, not more and not less.
Be Who You Are: Be your authentic self, not somebody else’s version of you. Respect and use your own talents and don’t waste time envying the gifts of others.
